The day before a wedding is easily one of the busiest for the families involved. All the hard work and planning that has been in the works for anywhere from a couple months to a couple years starts to come together on the wedding eve. Vendors are checking and double checking their orders, decorations are going up, family and friends are trickling in, the wedding party are practicing their processional order, and the wedding jitters are at an all-time high. Before everyone finishes up for the day and heads to their lodgings for a well-earned night’s rest, there is one more hurdle to tackle: the rehearsal dinner. 

Assign a Planner

So who is in charge of the rehearsal dinner? Well, traditionally, the bride’s family shoulders the responsibility of planning and funding the wedding itself, so the execution of the rehearsal dinner falls on the family of the groom. However, it is becoming more common in modern times for the engaged couple to take charge of the wedding themselves, in which case the party responsible for the rehearsal dinner is less defined. The bride and groom may wish to plan the rehearsal dinner themselves as well, or one or both sets of parents may offer to take up the reigns. Regardless, it is best to nail down who is responsible for the rehearsal dinner early in the planning process so it doesn’t get left by the wayside and forgotten until the last minute. 

Establish a Budget

Just as with the wedding day itself, it is important to define a budget for the rehearsal dinner, especially since this dinner is often planned independently from the rest of the celebration. The good news is, this budget should look much smaller than the overall wedding budget. That being said, it is vital to set a budget early on in the planning process so nothing gets overlooked. In building your budget, take into account any and all elements that go into the event—the venue, the meal, decor, rentals, etc—research average prices and plan accordingly.

Gather a Guest List

As with the wedding, you are going to take stock of all the people involved by writing a guest list. The rehearsal dinner tends to be a smaller, more casual, and more intimate event, so this list should be much shorter than the wedding guest list. So who is invited? Along with the bride and groom themselves, anyone involved in the wedding rehearsal should be invited to the dinner. This includes bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girls, and ring bearers, along with close friends and relatives like parents and grandparents. Additionally, it is seen as good manners to invite any of your wedding party’s plus-ones. If you have a little extra space on the list, you may even consider inviting any out-of-town guests who have traveled an especially long way as an extra gesture of gratitude for their presence.

Find a Venue

Searching for a rehearsal dinner venue is a lot more straightforward, and a lot less rigid, than a wedding venue. Renting a private event room or reserving a section of a restaurant is a popular option for smaller rehearsal parties, and it presents a unique opportunity to tie in a local eatery that is significant to the family or the couple. For larger parties, small private event spaces, conference halls, and banquet rooms are all commonly chosen. Sometimes the rehearsal dinner can take place at the wedding venue itself as more and more venues are either including a rehearsal dinner space in the rental package or are offering those few extra hours at a reduced rate. 

Plan the Meal

If the rehearsal dinner is taking place in a restaurant, they will likely work with you ahead of time to offer a set selection from their normal menu for your party to choose from, which can save you a lot of time and convenience. If the dinner is taking place elsewhere, you will need to look into other options. This can look like hiring a caterer, or, if your family is blessed with talented and willing home chefs, it can look like a curated family potluck. Whichever option you choose to go with, remember to contact your guests ahead of time and note down any allergies or dietary restrictions. Remember also to ask your venue or caterer if tableware like plates, flatware, glasses, and napkins are provided, and make plans to rent them if not.

Choose the Decor

While you may be limited to very basic decor in a restaurant setting, in a traditional venue setting you should have ample opportunity to decorate however you like. The rehearsal dinner is typically a more casual event, so you by no means have to decorate as extravagantly as the wedding day (though you certainly can if that’s what you want). Since the wedding decor itself often tends toward the bride’s preferences, some planners choose a color scheme and decor that lean a bit more masculine, but this is by no means the rule. Since the rehearsal dinner is an extension of the wedding, plan the decor to further reflect what is special and unique to the happy couple.

Account for Activities

As the name suggests, the rehearsal dinner is mainly focused on sharing a meal with those who play an important role in your wedding and your life, but it can also be a time for other traditional activities. It is common for toasts, speeches, and fond anecdotes to be shared at a rehearsal dinner, especially if the couple has opted to limit or altogether omit these from their wedding day. Depending on your background, you may have other family, religious, or cultural traditions that take place at a rehearsal dinner. Remember to keep all these activities in mind while planning the dinner, and make sure to acquire any glasses, microphones, or other items needed for these activities to take place as planned.